When you feel like the wrong place at the wrong time you actually might be right where God wants you...

On Saturday I had a horrible run.  It rained pretty much the entire time I ran and it was just plain long and depressing.  Then I went to a funeral and felt out of place.  Then a job function and I felt equally inadequate. I got lost several times when I went to the place and almost gave up quite a few times trying to get there.  Also I went to get my phone replaced and after 3 hours I was told no.

Fast forward to Monday and an equally frustrating day with a dead car battery.  But then I thought about all the unrelated situations. The reasons why things did not go my way was not because I was a bad person.  I know that I was supposed to learn some lessons along the way.

Sometimes bad things happen to teach us character.  I know the Lord did not call me to an easy life.  If I don't have his blessings unaware such as people in both places to jump my battery I would still be stuck somewhere. 
If I did not finish the run I would not of known how it was to persevere in tough times.  The funeral, the phone and party I just need to buck up and just let life happen even if there are factors I can't control.

Who knows if I would not have had those situations where would I be.  And sometimes it is not worth sweating the small stuff.

 

Romans 8:28King James Version (KJV)

²⁸ And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

When you feel like the wrong place at the wrong time you actually might be right where God wants you...

On Saturday I had a horrible run.  It rained pretty much the entire time I ran and it was just plain long and depressing.  Then I went to a funeral and felt out of place.  Then a job function and I felt equally inadequate. I got lost several times when I went to the place and almost gave up quite a few times trying to get there.  Also I went to get my phone replaced and after 3 hours I was told no.

Fast forward to Monday and an equally frustrating day with a dead car battery.  But then I thought about all the unrelated situations. The reasons why things did not go my way was not because I was a bad person.  I know that I was supposed to learn some lessons along the way.

Sometimes bad things happen to teach us character.  I know the Lord did not call me to an easy life.  If I don't have his blessings unaware such as people in both places to jump my battery I would still be stuck somewhere. 
If I did not finish the run I would not of known how it was to persevere in tough times.  The funeral, the phone and party I just need to buck up and just let life happen even if there are factors I can't control.

Who knows if I would not have had those situations where would I be.  And sometimes it is not worth sweating the small stuff.

 

Romans 8:28King James Version (KJV)

²⁸ And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Not putting the pause on Menopause

It started a few years ago with my period temporally stopping.  I have to admit it was nice at first because I did not have to wait to swim and the stress of constantly waiting for IT to come.  Then this year in January IT stopped for good.  Part of me was happy because I knew truly things were changing.  But all the changes were not good.  I gained weight more easily, developed a small mustache, needed more stress medication, and felt uneasy with change more than ever before.  My job position will change at least two times in the next two years.  Woo.....

But with the help of Christ I am making strides to cope with the change.  Most of it is not physical but mostly mental and emotional.  I am thinking towards my future planning for my retirement, making adjustments in my social circles taking out toxic relationships and taking the dive more often in life. 

First of all I started the journey to find out what I am supposed to do when I retire with taking to people, visiting places and making plans to further my education in the area of special education.  I am continuing to only allow myself to spend significant time with healthy people and saying yes to life's changes and enjoying the journey along the way. 

I choose to face the scary things such as bifocals, turning 49 in a few weeks, taking life with trying new things, and continuing to find purpose even with an older age.

We do not know the day of our death, the date of Christ's return but we know we need to be faithful.  I choose to do that today.

Mark 12:32

New Living Translation
"However, no one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows.

Are You Okay?

It was a stressful previous evening.  My relative whom I had given good advice was trying to fix a problem without listening to anything I had said.   My husband got more and more upset as he talked to her. I looked at my next year at work and thinking that everything possible that would jeopardize my success had happened.  Then my husband was injured overnight and then woke up the next day not in a good mood.  I left to walk.  I felt it was better to be out of the house than in a household full of tizzy.  I was walking along the road and a truck stopped.  Generally when someone stops early in the morning I am very fearful.  All the driver asked was if I was okay.  I said yes and he drove away.  But then I really thought about it.  I was not okay.  I was hurting.  I was upset.  I was dreading the day with the visit to the gynecologist surrounded by pregnant magazines and people.  I despised  the visit that took much longer than the usual hour wait time. All I earned from that visit was another test due to my age.   I had tried so hard to handle menopause so well by working on my retirement plans and keeping busy but today I hurt.  I felt great pain.   I did a lot of praying and the Lord reminded me that I needed to take my hands off the impossible and let Him handle it.   It was not my fault we did not have kids.  It was not my mistake that I could not do my job.  Even emotions and decisions others made were not my concern.  When I did that things did get better.  Sometimes as much as I try to be positive it is okay just to be quiet and not fix everything. 

Romans 8:37-39 says

37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor principalities, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Looking at the Whole Picture

Sometimes God calls us to take us out of our comfort zone and see things from a different perspective.  Recently I and some of my closest friends have had to learn this lesson.

In a recent situation a staff member had to do a last minute task that was overwhelming.  My friend told me she was initially overwhelmed with the huge task but the Lord quickly assured her that He would be with her and her job was to not allow the unfair request take her from the joy she had received from her job.  It wasn't even the supervision's fault this had happened and her job was to make them look good.  From a small perspective it was an inconvenience but when she looked at the total picture she realized with Christ's help she could be part of the solution to make the situation work out

Recently I was in a race.  The race started later due to the weather and even ended early because of the dangerous conditions.  I initially was upset I could not finish but quickly realized that the safety of myself and the other participants was more important than the distance covered that day.  It had to be tough to be the organizer to make a call even though no matter what decision they made would make others unhappy. 


I went to a teacher conference recently in another state and every morning I went running.  One day I went a bit overboard and ended up running a bit farther than my comfort zone.  I ended up in a bit of a seedy neighborhood.  I did see some pretty sights of the tops of the sights of the city and had to pray, use my sense of direction and ask for help to make it safely back to my hotel. 

In the past I had looked at life from a small perspective and had gotten mad easily.  As a believer I need to ask God for wisdom to see the whole picture.  When I do that things are not the same. 

I have learned in tough times for myself and others to not jump to conclusions.  Instead I need to stand back and ask the Lord to help me.  Isn't it good to know when we wait on the Lord for his wisdom He helps us see things in a new light.

1 Corinthians 13:12The Message (MSG)
¹² We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

Lessons from the Train Station

This morning I was out on a walk and decided to go by the train station.  It had two purposes.  One I enjoyed watching the trains go by and second I might get to see my husband off to work.  I actually accomplished both goals.  As I neared the station there was a freight train.  Usually they are not there in the morning at that time because the rails are used for commuter trains.  But it was there. Many commuters were obviously frustrated and concerned that they would not be able to make their train because the freight train was coming on the opposite rail to the train they needed to get on.

I noticed how each of the trailers to the freight train  were different and had various purposes.  Some where used for dispensing liquid, gas or oil and others were clearly used for food or packing materials.  Each car had a particular look, sound and the  way it moved and swerved along the track.  I looked later after the freight train had passed and remarked to myself on the people waiting for the commuter train and how different they were in their dress, posture and actions.  But all them just like the train are essential and most importantly to the Lord.

I hope like I am you are blessed with some wonderful friends.  Those are people we could spend a large amount of time with in our lives.  Some of us are blessed to have families and we enjoy spending time with them.  Other people we deal with such as co-workers and frienamies  not so much.  But they are in our lives for a purpose.

I pray as you go about your day just as I do mine you will keep that in mind.  May we see beyond the surface level of things such as the outward, personal bias and other things to see what Jesus sees.

Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you” (Ephesians 4:29 TEV).

Confessions of a Type A Person Living in a Type B World

I hate to admit it but I am a Type A Person.  I am by nature a teacher and I like to rule my room at work and if I don't watch it other people as well.  This does not go so well sometimes.  I get discouraged when I am faced by procrastinators, emergency operators, drama queens, selfish senoritas, and first world problem creators.  I also hate to be misunderstood. I don't like people being let down.   But I am learning that I have gifts, talents and abilities and I need to continue to focus on letting the Lord do his work and just being me.  Also I can't control what other people do and their experiences in their live.  Jesus I submit to you my Type A personality.  Help me use it for Your Glory and not worry about the consequences.  Ultimately You are in control!

Proverbs 19:21English Standard Version (ESV)

²¹ Many are the plans in the mind of a man,
    but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.

 

From a Different Perspective

Recently I was on a longer walk than usual.  I decided to take the backside of places I have only seen in the distance.  It was interesting having the views in the opposite direction.  I realized there were many  beautiful sites up close in the other side I was missing.  The walk also gave me an idea.  Many times we have our own view of things.  And then others in our lives have the opposite.  Yours actually made me right but other people do have a right to their own opinion.  This is difficult for me because I am by nature a people pleaser.  I am learning no matter how perfect I am I can't make everyone happy.  And I can't solve instantly other messes people have caused by their own insecurities, frustrations and mistakes.  But the most important thing I can do is to pray and allow the Lord to work in the situation.  Lately in His time He will reveal to me the reasons why.  And just maybe I will be able to see another perspective. 

In all things God works for the good of those who love him” (Romans 8:28) and that “the testing of your faith develops perseverance" (James 1:3).

( Pictured is my sis's former dog Daisy and my grandma.  My grandma always took time to pray and seek God from all perspectives. )

Living my 8 year old self 40 years later

When I was 8 years old I was pretty serious.  It was a tough year with chicken pox and a broken arm. I got tired of trying to make friends and preferred to play by myself. My only consolation was that I had this incredible teacher who made me want to teach second grade and I am happy to announce I have in my 26 years of teaching taught that grade more than any other.

But I was a pretty messed up kid.  I worried a lot and let the opinions of others control me pretty much of my life.  Things improved when I was 18 and gave my heart to Christ but often I was very stressed out.   It wasn't until I discovered my own style when I took up running about 12 years ago.

Instead of dreading hot, wet, and cold weather I began to appreciate it.  I started liking the outdoors and the various seasons. I met lots of people who shared my interests and I also began to take the lessons that I learned running marathons and half marathons and put them in my personal and professional life.  I also found friends for the first time who loved and accepted me as I am. 

Today I ran outside in the rain and it was absolutely amazing with the lighting and the downpour.  Monday I found a off beat track and pretty much got lost for a mile.  Funny how the twists and turns of life help you shape yourself to face adversities later.

Finally I am not worrying about what others think of me so much and I am finally being the 8 year old I was called to be.  Brave bright and ready for the next BIG ADVENTURE!  Isn't great that the Lord has made us all unique and our special talents and interests are from Him?

How great is the love the Father has lavished on you, that you should be called the children of God. 1 Jn. 3:1 NIV

Are you listening to me?

As a fitness addict I am embarrassed to say I belong to two gyms.  One I use for my weekly step and yoga classes and a place to get ready when I run outside and the other for primarily rainy and snowy months.

The one I use the most is close by and even though I am almost fifty years old in the morning I am one of the youngest ones there.  Most of the people even though it is early are seventy and above.  They absolutely crack me up with how they work out for about half an hour or less and then sit and talk for about two hours, drink coffee and eat cookies every weekday morning.  Most of them are men and the women do come but they are definitely in the minority. 

I hear them discuss the world's problems and find a way to solve them.  They come from all walks of life from the business man, the executive or the blue collar worker but they all want to be heard and are not afraid to argue and talk above each other in the area they often sit in. 

I wonder how many of them really feel like they have lost a part of themselves as they have left the workplace and all they want is to be heard.

Then I go to school and I deal with many different kinds of children.  Many push the limits of my patience and instead of in the past getting frustrated as easily I pray and ask the Lord now for wisdom on how to reach them.  Sometimes the answers come easily but many times I find that no matter their emotional or academic disability they are like those old men that just want to be noticed and heard. 

When I think of those around me that just want to be heard I am grateful for the Lord who listens to my needs, thoughts, hopes and dreams whenever I ask him.

Advice is good and I seek it everyday from my family, professionals and from the vast knowledge I have acquired as a teacher but most of all how wonderful it is to know that the Lord will give it you in His time when we seek Him.



James 1:5New International Version (NIV)

⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

Finding My New Normal

This summer I had the opportunity to teach summer school for first grade.  I have taught the little ones before but somehow this summer is different.  The kids are all beloved rascals and quite the handfuls but I am totally falling in love with them.

I have also got to be the school's crossing guard.  It is so peaceful holding the sign and greeting children at adults at one of the most important times of the day whether it is before or after school.

I have also tried some new methods teaching and as a whole I think it has been going well.  It feels good to do something that is worthwhile and works.

Last I talked with my principal today.  She noticed that I am enjoying my role working with  the younger kids. I was originally supposed to teach second grade in summer school.   I believe that when you make the best of a situation the Lord plants you where you are supposed to be.

1 Corinthians 7:17New International Version (NIV)
¹⁷ Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.

Summer Bucket List

 
Time with God. I want this summer to be a time I pray everyday but really seek God in an extraordinary way.  I am planning on starting to think of the future and I need God's direction in all areas.

Family.  With my mom needing more care I need to focus on cleaning.  With my husband I need to focus on meeting his needs.  Having the blessing of pets I need to make sure I am caring for them.  Having a house that is clean is also important.  I hope to make more of a dent in a cleaning schedule, regulaary healthy meals, healthy weight, etc.

Work.  Despite a lot of growth this year I still need to improve.  I will work on getting my IEPS even better and my scores on the district standardized test.  I will also work at being a blessing instead of a curse to my co-workers.

Running.  I love it and I need it.  I also want to continue to pace, blog and coach.  I am so grateful for all the doors it has opened up to me.

Creativity.  I want to write more often, create and use my gifts to make a difference in others lives.  Posters, a newly designed classroom,  new tools for teaching and writing are a part of my future.


Bucket List Stuff. Other things than just my running are included in this.  I am hoping to do some downtown trips this summer, visit some new trails and many revisit my knowledge in sign language and conversational Spanish.  Who knows?

The last couple of summers I have done some bucket lists.  This has been a good idea because it allows me to focus on having significant goals at a time where the pressure of work is not so heavy.  This summer is no exception.  The other day I was walking by a house that you could tell has never been finished and it has been quite a bit of time.   Again I reminded myself I need to not be that house and what I start I will finish.

Philippians 4:6-7 

 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

Unfinished Business

 

 

Turning 49 this year I am saying goodbye to my 40s and hello to my 50s.  It is a harsh realization in one moment but also a time to slowly say goodbye to another set of circumstances.

I have been spending more time with my parents due to my mom's back surgery.  This has allowed me to spend the night and the following morning get up early and see my childhood town from a different point of view.  Every time I run I go to a different section of town that brings back memories.  The last time I was down I went to visit the playground I went to as a child, the house where my maternal grandparents lived and the place of work in the 70s for many of the residences that lived in the town of Morris

First of all the playground.  I was very surprised to see the slide, the spinning wheel, the horses  still in the park.  Even though the paint had fallen off from the many times it had been coated on I remembered all the memories from that playground.  I also went past my maternal's grandparents house.  It took me a few tries to find it because they had changed it structurally and painted it very different colors.  But it was still there in its brilliance.  Last I went to the place of employment of my grandparents on both sides.  It was sad to see the overgrowth of the buildings  and the factory.  But like myself time had to move on.

I look at the present.  I see the changes in my parents and sometimes even though they are as sharp and bright as before it scares me. I marvel at my parents growth and willingness to keep a part of ministry and trying new things.

  I see many more people retire, move and change.  I even see differences in my relationships and how I am treated.  Not all are desirable but a part of life.

But in the midst of the change I see some good things.  I see new friendships forming and a self-confidence and peace I have not known before.  I see a set of parents that I am grateful for and how glad I am able to help them during this time.

Despite the good, bad and uncertain I know that the Lord is with us.  Isn't it good to see the hand of the Lord in the past but also in the present>


Philippians 4:6-7 says

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

References for Philippians 4:6

• Cross References

• 8 4:6 - Mt 6:25-34
• 9 4:6 - Eph 6:18 ; 1Ti 2:1

 

7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

 

Trains

 From some of my favorite memories there have been trains.  As a child I found the sounds of the train comforting and it made me think of my grandparents who lived on the other side of the track.  As an adult I loved the train because it brought my then boyfriend now hubby home from work.  I loved the train as a young teacher because I would listen to it go on my corner of my two flat apartment  just like a stereo from one ear to the other on its journey after a long day at work.   I also have always loved the train  because it was predictable and I could count on it to get me safely to my destination.  Even today I still enjoy walking by the train and occasionally taking it into Chicago.  My runs go by the train and it still excites me as I see its journey several times a day going because and forth in my community.

The train reminds me of the Lord.  He is stable, loving always there and brings us our needs.  Isn't it neat to know that the Lord brings us consistency, peace and comfort even in the midst of our worlds instability.

I Corinthians 14:33

33 For God is not a God of disorder but of peace—as in all the congregations of the Lord’s people.

From the Perspective of a Tiny Crayfish

On my walks and runs we have a nearby school that is  near a ditch that allows the water to quickly run off after a significant rain storm.  All kinds of animals use the temporary moisture as a way to survive including very small crayfish.  When it is really wet they will seek drier shelter on the blacktop in the morning behind the schools.  This is really a bad idea because they become prey to birds, children playing on the playground and teachers freakishly trying to drive to their classrooms on time.  But the crayfish don't know that.  They just do what their senses tell them to do and find drier land.

I have noticed them after a rainstorm  and the other day this really tiny one tried to raise it's arms towards me trying to attack me. Initially it was kind of scary but when I compared my shoe to their size I realized I could of easily crushed him.  That got me thinking of trials and tribulations I face and that many of my foes and challenges are just little crayfish trying to intimidate me with their tiny fists.  I can crush or ignore their threats.  When it comes to the big picture God knows the whole situation.  I choose to let the Lord deal with the bigger picture and not let the little challenges  of life get me down.

Romans 8:28 ESV /

    
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Crazy Creative Cottage

In Oak Forest there are many interesting sites to see.  One is not so easily seen to the public one  house that started off at Christmas display showing Disney Characters in their front window.  Initially I thought it was kind of crazy but somehow it seems that many people compare Christmas to Disney so I did not think much of it.  As the seasons changed so did the décor in the front of this house.  This spring it has an assortment of more Disney displays but also pretty fake flowers in front as well decorating  signs in the front.  The lawn is nicely trimmed as well.  I wonder what the neighbors think of this person and how they truly are in person if I met them.  But then I realize I am a lot like the Crazy Creative Cottage.  Do I conform to who I think people think I should be or do I embrace my uniqueness and just be. 

First Kings 3:12  says “Behold, I give you a wise and discerning mind, so that none like you has been before you and none like you shall arise after you.”

I am wise.  I ask the Lord for discernment but I rejoice in my own uniqueness and giftness.  Thank you Lord for allowing me to notice this house today.

Lessons Learned from a Struggling Tree

I was out for a walk today and I saw the strangest but most wonderful thing.  It was a tree that was cut because it had gotten in-between a fence and also was close to a power line. Instead of dying like most of the trees there  this tree refused to give up.  It continued to have limbs grow on it despite the fact that half of it had been cut down.  This tree really spoke to me about my life.   As a person that was often ignored in both my childhood and adult life it is very easy to give up and want to be just like the other trees that were in the area. Recently and in the past there have been opportunities that should of been mine but did not come to be.    But then I looked at the bark of the tree and noticed a heart that was engraved in the tree.  At one time I am sure maybe many years ago a couple had inscribed their love to one another.  Probably that couple did not exist today but I truly believe that was a physical sign to me that I need to be like that tree.  Even in the adversity of getting my branches cut I need to continue to bloom and do what I was created to do and that the difference between me and the other tree is my relationship with Christ.  No matter what happens around me and the adversity that this tree encounters being between a fence and near power

lines it continues to grow and bloom.  Hopefully I can learn from this and just do what I am supposed to do.  I see things other people don't see.  I talk to people that others don't see.  I encounter beauty others can't see.  I choose to be that tree today.  Instead of looking at the impossibilities I choose today to look for new roads ahead and see what God has planned for me.

 1Corinthians 2:9The Voice (VOICE)

⁹ But as the Scriptures say,

No eye has ever seen and no ear has ever heard
    and it has never occurred to the human heart
All the things God prepared for those who love Him.^[a]