It was spring and I had volunteered to help out with a local organization for a Easter Hunt I felt that helping out was a good thing because it gave me a chance to make an impact with the kids and help the parents be able to enjoy the program without having to disrupt their own day. I did think it was odd though that I was not contacted to help until the last minute despite the fact that the sheet for helping had gone out over a month ago and I had offered to help shortly after that. It seemed like they were always asking for volunteers and being a teacher I felt more than qualified to help out in a assisting position. I guess I was a little down in the dumps because generally I am always helping out at holidays and this holiday despite my willingness had not been asked to do so. I felt as I helped out that my talents or gifts were not appreciated.
Initially it made me sad and also my own feelings of being a childless infertile couple came out. I was also mad because here I was helping out despite my own pain and I was not being appreciated for my gifts. But then it struck me. Maybe my talents and giftings were not supposed to be in this area but in others.
I had been asked to help out in my local running community as a pacer and coach and people seem to appreciate that. I had been asked to help out a few programs recently with the disabled and I was appreciate for that responsibility and also I had some opportunities on the horizon showcasing my talents and abilities as a teacher, trainer, and creator of curriculum and instruction. Maybe I should focus on those and not on this one thing that affected me so negatively.
Infertility is not a disease but a thing that many couples must live with everyday. Most of the time you are okay as you live your busy life but there are times it really hurts. You worry about the future and who is going to take care of you when you get old. People look and act around you strangely. Sometimes God does not choose to grant you your desire of children and there is a reason for this. Instead it is essential you use your talents and abilities elsewhere.
But I challenge anyone who does not know what to do in this situation not to shove it under the rug. Use those people and don't try to pretend that they don't exist.
Everyone who goes through infertility is different. Like today I was at the museum and visited the baby exhibit. My husband chose not to go. I love to hear about the antics about other kids. Others the antics is too painful. I do hate it when other parents complain about their kids and the problems are minor compared to the children I teach everyday in school. Love those people and even if they don't take care of your kids in the same way let them show that love in their own unique way.
